comparing cars to people

"PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power" (petarvn) 08/24/2014 at 14:34 • Filed to: None

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Cars have personalities, we all know that! so, what kind of person would your car be if it were a person?

In my case, my car is like that hot party chick you want to date in High School. She's hot, she's cool, but most of the time she can be quite reserved if need be. The thing is she does want to party a lot, and that will get me in a lot of trouble soon. She does have her priorities straight for the most part though, and will generally focus on school, rather than on Wild parties (most of the time)

What kinds of personalities do you see in your cars?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:37

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A needy, spoiled, rich, German girl who likes to be punished.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/24/2014 at 14:40

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...you drive a 335i, right?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:42

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328i

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:45

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An old friend who's been around my whole life. He may give me shit from time to time, but he's always there when I need him. He's rough around the edges but inside is a heart of pure gold.

drunkenup4 > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:46

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A smart, manipulative blonde who makes us bowl with gutter guards (335i 6-Speed... automatic)

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:46

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an older British man who is ready to take you anywhere at anytime with no hassle as long as you take care of him in return and somehow he will always be "cool"

an Italian model who's issues and wants will make you want to leave her for good until she says "let's go" and then all harmful memories and past issues will be forgotten

MAXIMUMVRM > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:50

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bi-polar... Any wagon of the AMG/RS/M nature

jkm7680 > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:57

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The girl that seems like the quiet and snobby girl, because she has rich parents. But once you get to know her she's down with everything. She likes to drink everything from wine to vodka and doesn't like to change her ways often.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 14:57

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That one red head girl that's almost cute, but is kinda boring. She also always complains, but once in a while she can be fun.

Pedro > jkm7680 08/24/2014 at 15:02

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GTI?

Pedro > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 08/24/2014 at 15:02

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1992 Chevy Blazer?

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Pedro 08/24/2014 at 15:06

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1994 GMC Safari

jkm7680 > Pedro 08/24/2014 at 15:07

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VAG family, but not a GTI. It's a B5 A4.

Pedro > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 08/24/2014 at 15:08

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very nice

Zibodiz > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 15:11

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My car is like Eugene Meltsner (surely some of you know who that is)... he's (yes, 'he', I'm a straight guy who has a male car. It's my friend, not my girlfriend.) Anyway, he's generally viewed as a nerdy car... something nobody would want to be around, but always pulls through in a scrape. And for those who are actually 'in the know', he's a pretty cool car. Sure, he could be cooler — like when I swap in that BP engine — but for now he's just that nerdy, but totally reliable friend who is actually really talented at a lot of things.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 08/24/2014 at 15:26

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older Volvo?

Svend > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 15:35

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A steady reliable if slightly rounded young lady who you can depend on. I love my girl.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 15:39

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An older, dignified gentleman who prefers to do everything the "proper" way, but once and a while surprises everyone by doing something completely ridiculous.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 15:42

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2001 Honda Civic coupe with 111,000 miles.

The Magic Rev Matching 4Runner > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 15:50

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A really good friend who is always ready to go anywhere you both want. He's old so he's got his limits, but he can and has taken a beating without giving up. While not reluctant to go anywhere he will take his damn time with it. And everyone with a truck like him around town WILL stop and talk at the pump.

I give you; a fairly stock 85 4Runner.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 16:03

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A fat Japanese man who is willing to go out in the wilderness and explore, but hates being in the public. Always dragging his heels when he is on the public road, but he goes crazy when the pavement ends. He also drinks sake like it's going out of style.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 16:22

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an old timer who never complains or says crap like "that's not my job" and just gets shit done with out fail (93 F150 straight 6 5spd)

MountainCommand > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 16:28

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A similar question came up on jalopnik a number of years ago. I found it funny enough to copy and paste everyone answers into a email draft. I dont know who wrote these unfortunately but the important part is it still exists!

begin quote"

If carmakers were high schoolers, who would be friends with who?

Toyota and Honda would have a slightly uneasy friendship because Honda harbored a simmering resentment for Toyota, which was always upstaging him.

Ford and GM would be the captains of the baseball and football teams, respectively, and the heads of rival cliques. They'd get into fights after school every once in awhile. Chrysler and Fiat would be brother and sister, and look out for each other at times, but travel in different social circles. Jeep and his buddies Dodge and Ram would be on the hockey team, hazing the freshmen.

I think Subaru would be in Ski Club and would sometimes skateboard with his friend Mazda after school. They'd probably get yelled at for talking to each other during study hall. Hyundai would be pretty good at soccer, and so would his little sister Kia. Nissan would be in A/V Club and on the track team.

Mercedes would be the leader of the popular girls, along with Audi and BMW - all of whom would be a little bit catty. Volvo and Saab would hang out because they're from the same neighborhood, although Saab would be out sick a lot.

Yeah, Mercedes is really unreliable and I think Audi has a drug problem, 'cause she's always on the fritz. BMW is kinda cool but she's got this huge need for attention and tends to eat her problems, which isn't really healthy. She's put on a lot of weight lately

Morgan would be in wood shop.

Saab gets killed senior year

Volvo and Saab would hang out because they're both part of the goth crowd. Volvo would pretend to be sick because it's cool with the other goth kids (Morrissey Syndrome), whereas with Saab it would be the other way around; very sick but putting on a brave face and not telling anyone what's really going on

Porsche would be the girl with the donk. The one everyone wants to touch.

VW would be her brother, always ever protective but a little nerdy.

.and Audi is their rich cousin that acts uppity, but just as a defense mechanism because she's really not that hot

Pontiac would be the smart yet incredibly lazy kid that drops out junior year. Saturn would be his not as cool friend who tags along and thought it would be cool to drop out as well.

Hummer would be the big buff football player that finds out senior year he doesn't have enough credits to graduate

Renault and Peugeot would be part of the crowd but you don't really notice them. They hang out together. Probably with Seat as well.

Citroën would be the weird cool kid, friend with everybody but mostly by himself

smart cars would be homeschooled

"

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 17:40

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A dumbass who thinks he's cool because he talks cool (2014 Nissan Altima S it sounds as if it has 3/4 of a VQ engine). Its my dad's as I ain't got no job.

Maddox Kay > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 19:13

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A petite, pretty girl who's a lot louder than her appearance suggests and can have a rude sense of humor. She doesn't drink much but is easygoing and always seems to have a good time.

Audi A3 TDI

asindhidude > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 19:34

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A midget who does a lot of blow and tries to get other people to do it too.

asindhidude > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 08/24/2014 at 19:35

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range rover. any alfa

asindhidude > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/24/2014 at 19:36

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new land cruiser

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > asindhidude 08/24/2014 at 19:44

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wrong 85' jag xj6 actually but now that you mention it i see how it could a range rover

but you were right about the second one 76' spider

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > asindhidude 08/24/2014 at 20:09

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No, an old 4Runner with a midgrade lift and 33's.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > MountainCommand 08/24/2014 at 20:36

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oh my god that is perfection! And don't forget the teachers! Mr. Lincoln, and Mrs. Cadillac!
and the gamer couple, Suzuki and Mitsubishi, who also dropped out.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > asindhidude 08/24/2014 at 20:40

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500 Abarth?

asindhidude > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power 08/24/2014 at 21:01

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i was thinking fist, abarth seems more like someone who likes moly

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > asindhidude 08/24/2014 at 21:04

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as someone who went to a party with a girl who likes molly, I can say that this is completely true. then again, said same person is also a blow person, soooo.....

Note: this person is an acquaintance, who just so happened to be going to a party and asked if I was interested to which I (very stupidly) responded yes.